I am 15 years old and a sophomore in high school. I have been training in Tang Soo Do for a little over a decade.

I started on this journey as a 5-year-old and I was just like any other kid. I would play games on the phone, play outside, go to birthday parties on weekends, and eat junk food. I used to resist coming to karate class. I would stay at home or not come to the car and when I came to the car, I would stay in the car and not come to class. I remember an incident where I stayed in the car and that was the last time I didn’t come to class. After that incident, I didn’t resist coming to class even though sometimes I would feel tired. In karate class, I was taught logical ways that challenged my impulsive and emotional ways. My first challenge was using my parents’ cell phones. I used to play games on their phones. I used it without them knowing and I learned that I had to ask their permission to use it. This lesson was the foundation for more learning later on.

Sometimes, I would not be in the place to listen and learn. This is where the exercises would come into play. Through moving and breathing, the exercises brought balance by syncing all three aspects of me: mind, body, and spirit. Tang Soo Do promotes balance through many exercises ranging from jumping jacks and sit-ups to forms and drills. When I do an exercise, my mind leads the body with instructions on how to do it. Counting the number of jumping jacks and making sure that the exercise is being done the way it was taught using the mind. The body will carry out the actions. The spirit is the emotional state and is connected to the body through breathing. When we do the form, for example, we use the mind to create the opponent, the body to move realistically to counter the opponent’s moves, and connecting the spirit through breathing.

My relationship with my family was another big challenge because I always thought that they were annoying and followed up with me too closely. It took some time to understand and trust that they wanted me to be better. I sometimes thought I could do things by myself but when I tried it and it didn’t work, I realized I needed my family members. I always looked up to my brother so I would always try to be around him but he didn’t like that so he would push me away. I learned to express that I wanted to spend time with him and then we could interact on a more mature level. With my mom, I would always think that she was following up too closely but she was just teaching by showing me things that weren’t working. My dad was the same way he wanted me to be healthy so when he saw me making unhealthy choices, he told me that it would lead to me being sick but I said I know what I am doing. He would show examples of unhealthy people and if I still didn’t listen, he would sometimes make a call which I didn’t like. Now when he tells me something, I can listen to it and if I don’t like it, I express my opinion but accept that it is probably for my best.

Training to studying was another one of the biggest changes in my practice. Initially, training was just for the physical benefit. I used to do checklist training. It was the same jumping jacks, situps, and forms. The problem was I was using my memory instead of realistically seeing what my body needed whether it was more jumping jacks or more forms. Studying is breaking down the exercise or technique and changing it to the way I was taught and then putting it back together. In the forms, I had to create an opponent and move accordingly and that is using the creativity in the brain rather than just remembering what moves to do. It was one of the most significant changes in my training. The benefits were not just in martial arts but also in school where it was easier to focus and learn. Adding this to my morning routine made it more consistent and effective.

In school, I started noticing the difference between me and my peers. I was a lot more logical in the decisions compared to them. I stood out from the crowd which was a good thing but I saw it as isolating myself and I thought it wasn’t good. I had the urge to be impulsive and blend in with the crowd but at the back of my mind, it didn’t seem sensible to me.

Promotion is moving along the belt system and it is done when the student has taken what is given to them and made it a part of them. I liked getting new belts and getting promoted to the next level. At every level, however, I had to step up and accept the challenges I faced because it would make me better. Blackbelt is a new beginning or the beginning of the end. This meant I either humbled down and learned things to make life simpler or to think I have arrived so there is nothing else to learn. I had to remain humble because I saw so many places where I thought I knew what I was doing but realistically I didn’t. I learned that it is hard for me to stay focused on a task so I had to humble down and accept that I was distracted. Once I did that, I could correct my habit. Teaching the students also made me learn more about how patient and tolerant I am and it showed me what I thought I knew.

I live by what Master Bell taught me: Today a teacher, forever a student. This means whatever I do, I continue to learn and grow. Everything I’ve learned from these 10 years, I’ll continue to use to live better.

Akshay Palanivelu
9/23/23