Second Degree Black Belt:
By Elanchezhian Palanivelu
September 2020
Purpose
In my last seven years with the Healing Arts Center, my family and I have benefited from the teachings of Master Bell combining three different arts in a unique way to heal. The purpose of this document is to describe my learnings on how these three arts are used in a systematic way for our betterment. This is just the beginning of learning the system.
My Journey
When I found First Tang Soo Do, I had everything I dreamed for my life. I've been married to my wife for about 20 years and we have two kids. I have consistent income from my job, a house, cars and a social circle to support me. In the pursuit of that dream I lost my health, joy and peace. The respectful relationships I dreamed of with my wife and kids wasn’t there. The responsibilities from my choices became too much for me. In my own eyes, I didn’t measure up. That lack of self-esteem, gave space for a lot of fear, anger and sadness.
But after joining First Tang Soo Do, within a few years, my life turned around. I became healthy and experienced joy and peace. I developed better relationships with my wife and kids where I can truly enjoy them. I learnt to prioritize so that I can let go of things that are not enhancing my life. I feel like I have appreciation for this life and living it well. I’m in the path of healing.
So how did this transformation happen? What are the character traits that helped with this transformation? Can I sustain this change? Can this be taught to someone else?
This document is an attempt to answer these questions though it may not cover everything that I went through as I’m still in the process of learning and comprehending it.
Holistic Healing
Healing means ‘to restore to original purity or integrity’. Holistic healing means restoring to original purity or integrity of a person by altering the habit. An issue is not looked at in isolation, or use medication to treat just that issue but to look at the source of the problem by way of habit and fix that to affect the whole person. For example, if I have acid reflux, one way to treat it is to take medication but it won’t be long lasting. And medication could cause other side effects creating more issues. A completely different way is to find the source of the problem, which could be my habit of eating on the go or eating with divided attention and emotion. Holistic way of solving this issue is to sit at the table, accepting the food for nourishment of my body and giving full attention to eating.
As students we go through the process of recognizing the problem, finding the source of the problem and fixing it by way of habits. It may not always be an easy process to acknowledge the problem and face the inconvenience of changing the habit. The process is to shine light on the problem, and the implications of that problem so that for the student the only option left is to change it. As we replace bad habits with better habits, we heal making our way towards the whole person.
Need for Intervention
When a student looks for martial arts or any other arts, at some level they know that their life can be better. To some extent they are tired of the chaos in their life. Physically they are unhealthy, mentally disorganized and emotionally fragile, different people having different degrees of it. It shows up in their choices and the outcome of their choices. They feel inadequate to handle their choices. They are ever conflicted and tormented, with no sense of self and peace. This results in low self-esteem and disconnect with reality.
They want to cover up their inner conflicts by appearing good. Their mind is moving continuously, spending all their energy in maintaining that appearance. Their whole existence is based on this perception. They find outside factors as the reason for their failure and misery. The unpleasant feeling within themselves causes them to search for a fix outside. Highly impulsive and emotional nature makes them live reckless and unhealthy lifestyles. When they perceive any challenge to that appearance, they fight back hard. They become egoistic and arrogant. At some point, they look for some intervention and a way out, not knowing the extent of their problem or what’s needed to heal it.
When they walk into the dojang and meet the Master, they experience something different. This meeting is significant because it immediately brings a change within them. For some the experience is so foreign that out of fear they don’t show up again though the experience remains. For some the experience is good, but they are so entrenched in their convenient way that they want to join in their own terms. Since the system is well defined and it doesn’t change, they don’t show up again. For some, the experience is relieving and comforting, so they come back to join the class. But for all of them some intervention has already started.
The Healing System
Master Bell, through his own experience, found that in life he was his biggest challenge. This is in spite of growing up in the south as a black man in the 60s when there were a lot of reasons to be angry and fearful. Through martial arts, he studied human makeup and their behaviors. In his teaching he often says, ‘I didn’t read that nowhere’. What he teaches is from his own study and experience of living and practicing the arts. He lives by what he teaches. In the system, there is no one big thing that brings dramatic, impactful change, it is the accumulation of a lot of little changes happening throughout the process that makes the biggest difference.
The process can be organized around these three ideas:
My emotion or feeling is my choice - This is taking responsibility for one’s existence. When we don’t take responsibility for our part in a choice or situation, we blame it on others and harbor feelings. Master Bell's conclusion about himself as his biggest challenge is an example of taking responsibility and living life with an appreciation instead of allowing negative emotions to dominate.
The means need to be peaceful (or balanced) to be peaceful (or balanced) - The means and the result needs to match. We tend to give more focus to the result than the way we use to get the result. To be balanced within us, we can’t use aggressive or harsh means. To develop strong relationships, we can’t use dominating or disrespectful ways. When the way is right, we can still end up feeling good irrespective of the result.
When I know better, I do better - Humans are creatures of habit and convenience. Even when we learn that some of our habits are toxic, we still hold onto it because of the convenience and the familiarity of it. But this complicates the problem further (potentially to the place of no return) and creates agony within us. As we learn, we take responsibility for what we know and do what we know.
At a high level the process of personal transformation can be described in three stages.
Knowing oneself as is
Knowing core essence of self
Rebuilding the self
When a student joins, the Master already laid out a vision for the student. He already has a system to which he brings the student. Master orchestrates the whole process in this system and imparts his energy by engaging with the students at different levels. The success depends on how much the student gives to it though the Master is ever ready to give to students.
The student may have any problem: health disorder, emotional trauma, relationship issue, substance abuse, anger problem, attention deficiency or anxiety. In the healing world, it is simply defined as imbalance. So the way to address these problems are the same but it is catered to that student.
Though there is so much available as a system to help the student in this path of growth and healing, I will briefly describe a few basic systems that I’m conscious of and are part of my growth.
Interview
When the student reaches out for a class, an appointment is set with the Master. Master is paying attention to every little detail to understand the student. Do they show up on time, how do they present themself, how their energy feels, what they say and how they say, etc. The conversation starts with what the student is looking for. During the interview Master listens for why they are looking for class, what they think is their issue and what are they willing to give to solve the issue, are they looking for a teacher, how full is their cup? Does the student’s need and what the Master has to offer match? The answer to these questions would be the backdrop for engaging with the student going forward. There is no selling or negotiation involved in this meeting and the conversation never starts with the financial part.
After the interview process, the student needs to call back the Master. When the student calls back and signs up for a class that’s a sign of their willingness and commitment to walk in this path. This is an important step to make the student realize it is their choice to join the class (no one took this decision for them and there is no luring), for the purpose of addressing their issues. For me it took two weeks to make the call. I had to step up, let my logic lead though emotionally I wasn’t ready. I realized I can’t just stumble into a place like this.
When it comes to the tuition fee, the whole process is automated so that not much energy is spent on tracking and collecting the dues on a monthly basis. Once the student joins it is all about their growth.
Class Schedule
All the class schedules are fixed. Most of the student's life is already full resulting in issues that prompted them to look for this class. One of the first challenges a student needs to handle is to bring some order in their life and create space for this class. Coming late to class, skipping classes are signs of a student's disorganized living. The system is to show up on the floor fifteen minutes early. If the student can’t come to class, they need to call the Master an hour early to notify him. This simple setup made the bar for skipping class higher than just showing up, especially when there is no good reason. Coming late and reasoning for skipping class would reveal a lot about a student's behavior and character traits. When a student consistently makes it to the class on time, that allows them to develop discipline and maintain order in their life.
Class Structure
There is a simple structure to the class. First there are only two roles in the class: teacher and student. Master dominates the role of teacher. Maintaining this structure is important for the teacher to be effective with students. Right from entering into dojang and in the beginning and end of class, by bowing to the Master, the student shows respect and willingness to learn from the Master.
The instructor leads from the front and students line up as per belt seniority. Once a student takes his or her place, they own the space. They develop the awareness to maintain the same space after every exercise.
As students may show up either balanced or imbalanced, the teacher uses every opportunity to get their attention by paying attention to little details. Is the belt tied properly, is the dress clean, are they standing evenly on both feets, is the posture right, are they present, how do they answer simple questions, etc. The goal is to make the student become part of class structure and engage them at all three levels: mind, body and spirit.
This gives the student the experience of how it becomes simple when we follow a certain structure.
Mind, Body and Spirit
The basic make up of any human being is the same: mind, body and spirit. Modern life is mostly mind based. Body and spirit is a neglected aspect, bringing imbalance in a person. How one physically presents is different than how they look at themselves. For a well-balanced person, mind, body and spirit is together and there is no difference in how they present and who they are within.
Corrective breathing is a simple way to experience balance. Bringing mental attention to the body in visualizing the lungs to deflate when exhaling through mouth and inflating when inhaling through nose in a controlled way gives the experience of balance. The racing mind quietens down for a while.
Though the concept of bringing mind, body and spirit is simple, to make it as a way is to make the journey of facing themself as they are with their well entrenched habit of living with feelings and impulses to a new habit of living with clarity and logic.
Warm Ups and Drills
Warm up exercise introduces the student to a lot of new things. First they see what they don’t have. Lack of self awareness, mental focus, physical control, control over emotions, awareness of surrounding, struggle to be with the class and a lot of other things that shakes them up on all fronts. There is a benefit at the end of it all. Simple exercise of going through head to toe, works on all the major joints in the body and brings rejuvenation and relaxation. Jumping jacks and other calisthenics help with better blood circulation by pumping heart, shakes off any stagnant emotions and clears mental cobwebs.
Everything is taught with well defined details. To not allow familiarity to set in to make it a routine exercise using memory, students are challenged to engage their whole brain in putting the details and make breathing part of the movement in a natural way.
Drills is the introduction of martial arts techniques. This also challenges the student on all three levels of existence. This prepares their mindset for forms and other advanced martial art techniques.
Forms
Form is telling a story. How much of our brain we use in our daily living is on display in the form. When we study the form, practice the way the form is defined and study how we actually do it, it shows the level of humility and integrity we have. We can see the parallel between how we do the form and how we live our life. It is an effective tool for our growth.
When I first learnt it, it is more of getting familiar with the moves and understanding how to lead the body with an attentive mind. Moving with a purpose by creating the opponent, and making breathing as part of movement gives new experience about our existence. It shows a new possibility for our existence. The art challenges us to go beyond our comfort and what we already know. It loosens up our grip on habits.
Different ways of doing the same form, makes it more challenging. Form on right side, left side, double or triple techniques, straight lines, reverse direction, without hand techniques, etc. challenged the mind to go beyond memory. There are so much details to focus on each form to bring it alive: creating the opponent, square the hip, square the shoulder, hip lock, back leg lock, knee and heel aligned, stable stances, looking in the eye of opponent, smooth transition, push/pull, breathing along with the move, spine erect, tight fist, each technique being complete… The practice when maintained as it is given, prepares our mind, body and spirit for more changes.
Teaching for Experience
For the student, the learning happens from both oral teaching and by practicing the art. Oral teaching is the main form of learning until a student uses their energy to deal with their problems. By asking how the day was for the student, Master engages the student in their learning process. These are generic topics covered in the first few weeks.
Introduction to our body: respiratory system, muscular system, skeletal system, and the importance of it in the training
How simple fundamentals of life is and how we complicate living by our choices
Basics of listening and communication
Defining well balanced person
Simplicity of life itself
Codes and tenets
As students bring up their life situations and issues, a lot of teachings go into rebuilding the person. The way to engage the student is as varied as the issues the student brings and as vast as years of experience of the Master addressing these issues.
Most of the time when the student is not at their best place, they tend to protect it instead of using the opportunity to come to a better place. It is typical to hide behind socially acceptable answers. To pull them out or rescue them, as Master says ‘they need to take the bait’. These are some of the ways I have experienced Master engaging students effectively:
Telling a story - Stories from Master’s personal life and experience with other students, because students are able to listen with some level of detachment. It forces them to connect with the reality of the story and see the lesson in it. It pulls them out of where they are and come to a logical, clear place within them, and gain a broader view.
Students' problem - Sometimes the truth sounds bitter. Students could make it about the teacher. Remind students that they are in the class looking for a solution to their problem & teacher is not part of that problem. This reality humbles down the student.
Showing the truth - Showing the truth or reality in a simplest and starkest way possible so that there is no confusion or delusion.
How the day was - Simple question of asking how the day was and not accepting empty words, reveals what affects students outside the class.
Countering impulse and emotions - When students show their emotional and impulsive way, the Master counters it with a logical way. Sometimes it is about the student's safety and well-being. The Master listens closely for every word that he hears from the student and the things he doesn’t hear in that context and addresses it to close all emotional paths.
Ask questions - When a student asks a question, they are apt to listen. The more pointed the question is, the answer can be pointed. Like in a workshop, engaging the student to ask questions makes the conversation effective.
Leaving the class feeling better - Master connects with the student when they enter the dojang and leaves the dojang and makes sure they leave better than how they showed up to class.
Experience - In the beginning, most of the words don't have much meaning. For example, honesty, humility, respect, balance, etc doesn’t have much profound meaning for students when they join. In the class students are given the experience of what those words really mean.
Looking for change - When an issue is addressed, a student's receptiveness and ability to listen with an open mind shows how much they give to grow. Some change in their behavior and lifestyle gives back enough to the Master to continue giving. Students demanding too much energy with not much change is avoided.
Two choices - When a situation is addressed, the student may think of it a certain way. Master with his broader perspective and logical sense may see it differently. Students have the tendency to listen that different way and adjust it to be similar to their way. Master makes sure they receive the message as simple as it is given so that the student walks out with two ways they can choose from.
Separation of logic and emotion - A situation that a student brings to the Master, he explains how they can feel about it vs what’s the reality of it. In some cases the emotion could be so strong that seeing the logical side would be challenging. But this gives the experience of coming out of their emotional self to see the logical side of it.
Keeping on path - When a student joins they are all over the place in their pursuit of things. After joining Tang Soo Do, their life becomes less cluttered. For some students this change is too much. Master looks out for signs of straying away from the path, and brings the student to the path of personal growth reminding them that it is fine not to get busy.
Not being uptight - Even though certain times, the situation can be serious, once we come out of it, we can have some lighter and fun moments.
Qi Qong
When the students gain some mental discipline to know the difference between logic and emotion, they are ready for basic Qi Qong training. In some way the student expresses a need to elevate their energy, it could be to meet the responsibility of their choices or to heal.
The foundation for this art is balance within oneself. Body scanning gives the experience of mind completely present in the body relaxing every inch of it. Through the practice of still patterns (both standing and sitting) students are taught to elevate their energy by connecting to their own source. With daily practice of these patterns, students become more aware and familiar of their energy, sensitive to their surroundings, detecting any foreign energy and being careful about how their energy is spent.
Advanced Qi Qong system teaches students more about meridian lines, pressure points, removing energy blockages, emitting energy and rejuvenating energy. This can be used for self healing and healing others. Through this advanced practice, we can release years of accumulated emotional traps. It also helps with facing ingrained habits we never looked at. With these changes experiencing a relaxed body, quiet mind and stable emotion becomes consistent. Students get to experience smooth flow of their energy throughout the body. With total quietness we can even experience internal organs of the body. This is when the actual spiritual nurturing begins. The daily practice of it enhances the mindset for better living.
Elevating energy comes with a high level of responsibility. Energy follows wherever thought goes. As a Qi Qong practitioner, we can’t live with negative thinking or with strong emotions like anger and fear. We can elevate and direct the energy towards healing if we pledge not to lead the energy towards toxic emotions.
Belt System
Tang Soo Do belt system is not about pursuit of achievement. It is more about a person's character development. It is thorough in monitoring a student’s growth and keeping them on the path. As the student progresses, they will be held responsible for what is taught to them.
White Belt - They are at the beginning of their journey. This stage is like a seed lying dormant under the snow. Lot of hand holdings would be needed repeating basic instructions and knowledge many times.
Orange Belt - This is the stage of seed sprouting. The same way the plant is revealing itself, the Tang Soo Do knowledge reveals itself at this stage.
Green Belt - This represents the speedy development of the plant but still fragile. Students grow fast and experienced balance but still not sure if they can sustain the martial arts path.
Brown Belt - This is the stage when the plant develops bark, and good chance this plant will survive. For students this is a stabilizing stage at all levels: mentally, physically and emotionally.
Red Belt - This is the stage when the plant blooms. The student's power, techniques and character begin to bloom and mature.
Blue Belt - This represents a probation period to watch the student to see if they are ready for black belt. The student is monitored for their consistency, integrity and humility. The student must now prepare his mind, body and spirit for the final step needed to attain black belt.
Black Belt - Black represents logical, calmness, humility, and integrity. Black belt could be the beginning of a new path or end of the beginning. At this level, the students need to take responsibility for everything they have learnt until this point and start a completely new path as a beginner.
When students forget their path, the chance of going back to where they started is very high. So throughout this path of progress, students document their learning and growth at different stages so that they don’t forget their path. Writing process makes the student conclude their learning to move forward with clarity. Referring past writing also shows how much the student has grown since they wrote it.
Codes and tenets
Codes and tenets are the moral foundation for learning the art and training. Having a good understanding of codes and tenets is as important as practicing the art. The tenets are applied in the training so that students develop strong character along with physical techniques.
Integrity - Being true to oneself
Concentration - Total focus on what one does
Perseverance - Continuing in spite of hardships
Respect & Obedience - Supporting the idea and following the command of seniors and teachers
Self-Control - Control over one’s actions
Humility - Absence of ego, open mind to differing ideas
Indomitable Spirit - Never giving up
Fourteen attitudes of Tang Soo Do lays out the attitude towards training. Though all of them are important, some important attitudes for daily training: consistent regular practice, all out serious effort, knowing theory and philosophy as well of what we do, overcome idleness.
Master’s presence
Master is the life of the system. Once the student joins the class, the Master is connected with the student. Even though the student joined the class to be better, they still present themselves as someone they are not. So the Master stir up things to break through the perception and show the reality of who they are. To get their attention and make the point, he uses extreme language that leaves no room for any misunderstanding. He listens and looks for ways to help the student to come to a logical and peaceful place. A relationship of nurturing develops.
With the way he carries himself and what he gives to students, he earns the attention as he enters the class. He maintains simple and positive energy. He is ever alert and sensitive to make sure energy in the class remains intact. He makes the student aware of what energy they bring to class. He talks about preparing for the class so that they can integrate well with the energy in class.
Master is committed to the class. He prepares himself and looks forward to helping the student with whatever they bring to class. The class is truth serum, the truth comes out. He takes the student’s problem seriously, he puts himself out there to help the student. He never hesitates to give when a student needs it. So he is not to be toyed with. When it is time for the student to leave, they better leave him intact as they found him.
He gives energy towards the vision he has for the student. As he teaches more, he expects more. With his simplicity, clarity and impartiality, he becomes the mirror for the student to see themselves. In Master's presence, the student gets the best of him. The student picks up the quality that they most admire in him.
Knowing oneself as is
When I joined Tang Soo Do, I was just one lump with no good sense of self, with no clear boundary between me and society. Work, social norms, immediate families and friend circle influenced my thinking and way of life. Sometimes there would be competing ideas, causing conflict within me.
As I entered the system, it didn’t take too long to see where I was. The concept of mind, body and spirit allowed me to see myself in a simple, direct way. In the class while listening to Master Bell and during my training, I could see my behaviors that I never paid attention. Observing myself at various times, handling situations, in my communications, inner conversations, in escaping a problem, my expectation of others, disappointments, fear, etc. showed me my inner self. Since I was in it, wherever I turned, I saw these emotions and impulses. My mind was running rampant following every thought, feeling and impulses. It was messy like a four way traffic crossing with no signals.
How did I live for all these years with this? I found ways to live with whatever I had. I can keep aside the unpleasant side of me and accept it as normal or pretend it doesn’t exist until a life situation exposes it. The art I’m learning challenges my every weak habit. There is nowhere to hide or pretend as if the problem doesn’t exist. The awareness I gained from training and learning brought me to a place where I couldn’t ignore my miserable existence. I faced it with humility. I was willing to be a better person.
Lot of students get stuck in this phase when they don’t make an effort to face them. Arrogance, laziness, selfishness, ego, ignorance and fear are some of the traits that could hold the student back. To move the students from here to a balanced place needs a lot of patience and tolerance, especially when they don’t make an effort. And the students don’t know what they are missing because they never had it.
Knowing core essence of self
In the class I got a few experiences where I could clearly observe the separation of logic and emotion. When Master Bell addressed our habit of eating on the go, he talked about the purpose of eating and how misplaced our priorities were, inability to sit at table and accept the food for nourishment of the body. The connection to our health and eating habits made us think. At the same time I looked at the inconvenience of changes we needed to go through to make it happen. But we made the changes and experienced the benefit of it.
The most profound change happened when Master Bell challenged my lying. When I told Master Bell that sometimes I tell lies to my wife, he called me out as a liar. I tried to defend it as a small lie or as a way to protect her from getting emotional. When something is not true, it is a lie. And if I lie, I’m a liar. When I accepted this simple truth, it brought me to a sense of reality and humility. When I logically understood that anything other than truth is a lie, I could detach myself from emotion. The process of accepting it brought me to a logical place.
Another experience was when Akshay got angry and made a hole in the wall. Master Bell reminded us how some angry people he knew either died or ended up in jail. When I heard it, it was harsh, triggering emotion in me, but I had to come to grips with that reality based on what I watched happening in this country.
Master Bell also talked about our miles of travel uprooting from India to America and the origin of America. How this country was formed on the backs of slaves and killing millions of native people in the name of civilization. But we bought into the idea of America as a rich, righteous nation, a successful capitalist country. This opened up my mind to look at this country in a realistic way. Since then, watching all the things happening in the country, I see things clearly without disappointments.
These experiences allowed me to see the separation of logic and emotion within me. With clarity and confidence, I turned inward and really looked at who I’m. The things I didn’t want to see about me, I had to see. Some of the unconscious things came to light. The advice from Master Bell ‘be kind to yourself’ helped me to stay on the logical side. But too many conflicts surfaced. What do I do with bad feelings I have about my past? ‘You did the best with what you had but when you know better do better’. How about my anger about others who were not fair with me? ‘That’s what they knew. If they knew any better they would have shown it towards you. No need to hold it against them and risk your health’. Then how about all the fears I have within me? ‘Face the fear by playing it out and see the worst case. Probably it won’t be as bad as you think. Don’t live reckless to bring fear in you’. Then how about all the choices I have made that looked too much for me now? ‘Before making choices you should have thought about it. Now that you made the choices, step up and take responsibility for your choices’. But I don’t have control on changing others, what do I do? ‘Change your input in that situation, there is nothing you can do that you don’t have control’. Do I have to go through all these? ‘What other option do you have? Live with the problem?’
Lot of questions like these bombarded me. With the teachings I received and the discipline I gained, I could swiftly resolve all the conflicts without giving into it. It felt like coming out of the tunnel and seeing the light. This was the freedom from my own emotional trap. I saw the separation of my mind, body and spirit. I experienced integrity and humility. I made peace with myself. This was like all the traffic came to standstill at the crossing.
I experienced a quiet mind and stable emotion. This felt good to be in this place. To maintain this became my priority. Daily training and consistently attending class helped me to experience this in a more profound way.
Rebuilding self
When I’m peaceful with no conflict in me, I feel relaxed. But when life unfolds, my reactive way of handling it kicks in. Most of those ways were emotional. When emotion arises, my body chemistry changes so I lose that relaxation. I clearly saw how I moved from balance to imbalance. When I know I’m not in a good place, I don’t let it linger for too long. I use the tools to bring me back up. I learn from this incidence so that it doesn’t happen again.
To avoid moving in and out of balance, I had to replace my impulsive and reactive habits with better habits. I went through rebuilding myself with new habits based on logic. This is more like a fully regulated crossing with traffic signals.
Some of the basic understanding that helped me to replace my habits:
I have the ability to think logically as well as feel. Feelings are inconsistent, we can’t make choices based on it. With reasoning, we can look at reality and come to consistent conclusions. Once we make choices based on logic, the feelings eventually catch up with logic.
Well being is number one priority
I’m already someone there is no striving to be someone
Showing appreciation for this life we have
Living by a structure
Knowing the purpose of a choice and taking responsibility for it
We bring another person into our life to share, care and help each other to grow
In a family we need to have a common moral codes to live by
Need to see a spouse as an equal partner, no looking down or looking up
Ideal way to treat a spouse is to think of themselves as king and queen
When you have a trusting relationship, you can tell the truth even if it is bitter
Only reason to have kids is to nurture them, not to control them
Parents are responsible for their kids, don’t give equal voice to your kids
Kids are products of parents: kids pickup habits from parents or parents allowed them to pick up habits from others
Parents need to teach kids by connecting to their logic, not connecting to their emotion
Think how you want to see your kid as an adult and start teaching those character traits now
Only reason for having a job is for financial support, don’t look for emotional support from job
Purpose of money is to enhance the quality of life
Continuously redefine relationships to keep it healthy and fair
Purpose of communication is to share information
Procrastination or laziness is not acceptable
Love, Live and Let go
With this understanding I simplified my living. Anything that had no purpose or didn’t increase the quality of life, I had to let it go. By choosing a healthy lifestyle, no place for sickness and tiredness. By giving time and space for important things, no more feelings of guilt or agony. We spent more time as a family, reducing disconnect, miscommunication and unrealistic expectations. We share common moral codes so that we know the way to carry ourselves. No more rushing or feeling of anxiety because we give enough time to it. We get more things done, give less excuses. No more random plans, we live by a structure. No more punishments or consequences for kids’ misbehavior, but teach them to be better. We keep our energy elevated to not allow old traits to come back.
Refining habits is a lifelong process. With conscious and simple living, I was able to spot habits that may not create an issue now but over time it could. And then there are subtle habits and biases that we bring from our childhood and traditions. It is time to break all those and define a better way to be.
Way of Living
Life unfolds, and things happen. We may not always know how it will unfold. But the only thing we can be sure of is the way to handle it.
When I practice the art of Tang Soo Do, Yoga and Qi Qong in the way given to me, I develop a new way of doing things, a way with more awareness, connected with reality, having a sense of purpose, logical and honest. A way of living that brings contentment and peace.
Conclusion
I appreciate Master Bell spending a lot of hours patiently teaching and sharing his life experiences. I feel fortunate to be part of this learning process. This system worked well for me and my family. I’m not perfect but I’m experiencing the simple joy of being a human. I could see the better side of other human beings.
As Master Bell often reminds, there are three movements in life: going backward, standing still and moving forward. Going backward is a failure, no one wants it. Standing still has a risk of going backward, so that’s not an option. That leaves with the only option, moving forward. I intend to move forward owning and living the system I learnt. I remain humble to learn more by practicing and teaching the system to the next generation of students.